Day 14 -- 30 Days of Truth

A hero that has let you down (letter)

Dear Biological Father,

You weren't in my life long enough for me to remember you, let alone to idolize you, but you disappointed me just the same.

I understand that when you came to this country to get your degree in accounting, knocking up your girlfriend (my mom) and then marrying her and raising a child was not in your plans. I get that. I imagine that you would have preferred to have graduated college and then return to Jamaica to start a career and THEN a family. I get that too.

But that's not the way it happened.

To your credit, you did try to do the right thing and marry my mom and be the husband and father we deserved. But you were miserable and homesick. You tried to convince my mom to move back to Jamaica and you almost had her . . . until she changed her mind. So you both went your separate ways -- you back to Jamaica and she back to Arkansas. I'm not mad at you for that. That's just two young people trying to figure out life and stumbling along the way. That's okay. That's forgivable.

What's not forgivable is your losing contact with your first born. There's simply no excuse for it. I'm your flesh and blood for goodness sakes.

Okay, I can make excuses for your youth. When you're young and stupid, sometimes you make choices that, in retrospect, were not the best for all parties. But then you get older, more mature and you try to make amends. Only, I don't think you've gone through such a process. Forty-four years later, and I've yet to hear from you. Ever.

I'm not that hard to find, you know. I still bear your last name and probably will until I die. And I haven't moved very far from where I was born. And our public records here in this country are very public. A few clicks of the mouse and here I am.

That is, if you're still looking to be a hero.