GrizzBabe is going on vacation.
Actually, the term "vacation" is misleading as I'm too broke to go anywhere.
I am taking the week off. How's that?
I'll be back to my old tricks in a week.
Monday, September 25, 2006
Sunday, September 17, 2006
Tagged, again!
Thanks to Kilroy for the tag!
1. What time is it? 10:45 a.m on a Sunday. I went to Bedside Baptist this morning.
2. What was the last thing you had to eat? Breakfast -- biscuits, bacon and orange juice.
3. What is your favorite television program? Now, it's HGTV's House Hunters (I love buying houses vicariously through other people.) When basketball season starts, it will be NBA basketball Thursday nights on TNT with Ernie, King Charles and Kenny.
4. You can travel anywhere in the world; one destination per day from Friday through Monday. Where do you go? Chicago, New York, Paris, and the Tuscany region of Italy.
5. Who is your favorite character from a cartoon or comic strip? Fat Albert
6. What would you like for breakfast? I've already had breakfast. But had I not been so lazy this morning I would have fixed: scrambled eggs, bacon, rice with butter and sugar (a childhood favorite) and biscuits.
7. Who is the first public figure that comes to mind that you think is attractive? JFK, Jr.
8. Who, outside of your family and "God", has had the greatest impact on your life? My college roommate.
9. You retrieve a bottle floating in the water. What does the message say that you find inside? "Here is a winning Powerball ticket. Claim it and the money is yours."
10. What movies do you select {limit of six} for a one-day film festival? Three quirky French movies -- An Affair of Love, Dreamlife of Angels, and The Piano Teacher.
11. Do you have a hobby? If so, what is it? If not, what do you think would be of interest to you? Cooking
12. Given the opportunity to travel back in time, when would your destination be? History has not been kind to people of color, especially in this country. I don't think I would want to go back in time.
13. Vietnam gave us China Beach. M*A*S*H came from the Korean War. What will the name of the television series be that results from our current state of military affairs? How to Use Fear to Scare A Country into Going to War (Kind of rolls off your tongue doesn't it?)
14. What is the last book you read? Magical Thinking by Augusten Burroughs
15. What five people do you MEET in Heaven? My grandmother, Jesus, Jeffrey Dahmer, Mother Teresa and Martin Luther King.
17. What's the first thing that comes to mind when you see the word pleasure? Sex
18. Eliminating price and availability as considerations, what six things do you put on your list when you go grocery shopping? Parmigiano-Reggiano cheese, Grand Marnier, saffron, Vahlrona chocolate, champagne.
19. What is your favorite non-blog related link? www.allrecipes.com
20. What will the title of your life story be? Beating The Odds.
21. What three people alive today would you like to have join you for dinner? Augusten Burroughs, George Bush (I'd like to tell him a thing or two), Ina Garten.
22. Which candle scent do you find most pleasing? Floral scents.
23. What question would you suggest I include the next time we play this game? Most embarrassing moment.
1. What time is it? 10:45 a.m on a Sunday. I went to Bedside Baptist this morning.
2. What was the last thing you had to eat? Breakfast -- biscuits, bacon and orange juice.
3. What is your favorite television program? Now, it's HGTV's House Hunters (I love buying houses vicariously through other people.) When basketball season starts, it will be NBA basketball Thursday nights on TNT with Ernie, King Charles and Kenny.
4. You can travel anywhere in the world; one destination per day from Friday through Monday. Where do you go? Chicago, New York, Paris, and the Tuscany region of Italy.
5. Who is your favorite character from a cartoon or comic strip? Fat Albert
6. What would you like for breakfast? I've already had breakfast. But had I not been so lazy this morning I would have fixed: scrambled eggs, bacon, rice with butter and sugar (a childhood favorite) and biscuits.
7. Who is the first public figure that comes to mind that you think is attractive? JFK, Jr.
8. Who, outside of your family and "God", has had the greatest impact on your life? My college roommate.
9. You retrieve a bottle floating in the water. What does the message say that you find inside? "Here is a winning Powerball ticket. Claim it and the money is yours."
10. What movies do you select {limit of six} for a one-day film festival? Three quirky French movies -- An Affair of Love, Dreamlife of Angels, and The Piano Teacher.
11. Do you have a hobby? If so, what is it? If not, what do you think would be of interest to you? Cooking
12. Given the opportunity to travel back in time, when would your destination be? History has not been kind to people of color, especially in this country. I don't think I would want to go back in time.
13. Vietnam gave us China Beach. M*A*S*H came from the Korean War. What will the name of the television series be that results from our current state of military affairs? How to Use Fear to Scare A Country into Going to War (Kind of rolls off your tongue doesn't it?)
14. What is the last book you read? Magical Thinking by Augusten Burroughs
15. What five people do you MEET in Heaven? My grandmother, Jesus, Jeffrey Dahmer, Mother Teresa and Martin Luther King.
17. What's the first thing that comes to mind when you see the word pleasure? Sex
18. Eliminating price and availability as considerations, what six things do you put on your list when you go grocery shopping? Parmigiano-Reggiano cheese, Grand Marnier, saffron, Vahlrona chocolate, champagne.
19. What is your favorite non-blog related link? www.allrecipes.com
20. What will the title of your life story be? Beating The Odds.
21. What three people alive today would you like to have join you for dinner? Augusten Burroughs, George Bush (I'd like to tell him a thing or two), Ina Garten.
22. Which candle scent do you find most pleasing? Floral scents.
23. What question would you suggest I include the next time we play this game? Most embarrassing moment.
Thursday, September 14, 2006
Men: Protect yourselves
Work is kickin' my ass right now so I decided to go through some draft posts to see what I could get up quickly and came across something I wrote back in June when it was announced that Prince Albert of Monaco had fathered yet another child out of wedlock. I'll try to get something new (and up to date) posted this weekend.
Someone should tell Prince Albert of Monaco that they make condoms. They've been making them for quite some time now. I don't think he knows. He's certainly procreating like he doesn't know or at least doesn't care. Of course, Prince Albert can afford the luxury of not caring. He is rich enough to birth a dozen kids out of wedlock and lavishly provide for each one.
But indifference toward the use of condoms is not just an affliction of the rich. Men from all walks of life are more than willing to hop into bed without the proper protection. Protection, not just from unwanted pregnancy, but from sexually transmitted diseases as well. What is it about the opposite sex that makes men accept without question what women they hardly know tell them about their birth control methods or sexual health?
Some women can be conniving, opportunistic creatures. They will use what they have (read: sex) to get what they want, whether it be a man or his money. But this is no secret. Men know this. For ages, men have been the well publicized victims of unscrupulous women. And still, they refuse to protect themselves.
****************
Someone should tell Prince Albert of Monaco that they make condoms. They've been making them for quite some time now. I don't think he knows. He's certainly procreating like he doesn't know or at least doesn't care. Of course, Prince Albert can afford the luxury of not caring. He is rich enough to birth a dozen kids out of wedlock and lavishly provide for each one.
But indifference toward the use of condoms is not just an affliction of the rich. Men from all walks of life are more than willing to hop into bed without the proper protection. Protection, not just from unwanted pregnancy, but from sexually transmitted diseases as well. What is it about the opposite sex that makes men accept without question what women they hardly know tell them about their birth control methods or sexual health?
Some women can be conniving, opportunistic creatures. They will use what they have (read: sex) to get what they want, whether it be a man or his money. But this is no secret. Men know this. For ages, men have been the well publicized victims of unscrupulous women. And still, they refuse to protect themselves.
Wednesday, September 06, 2006
Lizard in an office
After barely graduating from high school, her son apparently had bribed enough of his college professors that the local university had no choice but to put him on the honor roll. The mother was so proud (not to mention shocked) that she asked us to print a writeup on his "accomplishment." She submitted the geekiest high school photo she could find to inform the entire community that her son wasn't the dunce cap-wearing bonehead they thought he was. We did our civic duty and printed the picture with a cutline lauding the student's questionable achievement. She had now returned to retrieve her son's photo.
She said, as I was searching for the picture, that it was the only one she had. I would have felt better had she told me she possessed a million copies as lone prints have a tendency to disappear inexplicably. I said a silent prayer of thanks when I discovered we hadn't managed to lose the photo. I handed it back to the proud mom. She thanked me again for publishing the photo and turned to exit the office.
That's when we saw it. A vicious lizard. It was grey with white markings and had a blue tail that looked as if the creature had been captured, it's tail wrapped in painter's tape and then set free. We were frozen in our tracks. Despite being only 4 inches long, I was certain if the reptile was allowed to get anywhere near us, it would swallow us whole.
We nervously devised a plan of action. Even though our first urge was to beat the thing senseless, we decided if we could somehow guide it out the door, that would be much more humane and a lot less messy. I grabbed a newspaper with the intention of using it to gently nudge the animal outside.
The lizard had other ideas.
When I leaned down and pointed the paper in the general vicinity of the reptile, it scurried off in the direction opposite of the door, seeking shelter in an empty cubbyhole of a bin where back issues are stored. I screamed like a scared kindergartner as it sprinted past me. Once the Proud Mom was able to coax me down from the ceiling fan, we came up with Plan B.
Plan B consisted of the Proud Mom repeatedly kicking the bin in an effort to freighten the lizard back into the great wide open. It wasn't working. I asked if she would rather use a broom. She declined. After several frustrating and agonizing moments trying to scare the lizard to freedom, the mild-mannered suburban mom decided she'd finally had enough.
"I'm tired of this motherfucking lizard in this motherfucking office!" she yelled. And with the authority of a drill sargent, she barked, "Get me that broom!"
This was no time for disobedience. I ran to the break room, grabbed the broom, then hurried back and deposited it in the Proud Mom's hands. She then proceeded to beat the floor with the broom while screaming at the lizard, "Go, lizard! Leave! Get out of here!" The startled lizard ran out of his protective hole. And with each swat of the broom against the floor, he inched his way back to freedom.
Her work being done, the Proud Mom took her photo and went home. In wonder and amazement, I watched from the doorway, broom in hand, as she drove her minivan into the sunset.
She said, as I was searching for the picture, that it was the only one she had. I would have felt better had she told me she possessed a million copies as lone prints have a tendency to disappear inexplicably. I said a silent prayer of thanks when I discovered we hadn't managed to lose the photo. I handed it back to the proud mom. She thanked me again for publishing the photo and turned to exit the office.
That's when we saw it. A vicious lizard. It was grey with white markings and had a blue tail that looked as if the creature had been captured, it's tail wrapped in painter's tape and then set free. We were frozen in our tracks. Despite being only 4 inches long, I was certain if the reptile was allowed to get anywhere near us, it would swallow us whole.
We nervously devised a plan of action. Even though our first urge was to beat the thing senseless, we decided if we could somehow guide it out the door, that would be much more humane and a lot less messy. I grabbed a newspaper with the intention of using it to gently nudge the animal outside.
The lizard had other ideas.
When I leaned down and pointed the paper in the general vicinity of the reptile, it scurried off in the direction opposite of the door, seeking shelter in an empty cubbyhole of a bin where back issues are stored. I screamed like a scared kindergartner as it sprinted past me. Once the Proud Mom was able to coax me down from the ceiling fan, we came up with Plan B.
Plan B consisted of the Proud Mom repeatedly kicking the bin in an effort to freighten the lizard back into the great wide open. It wasn't working. I asked if she would rather use a broom. She declined. After several frustrating and agonizing moments trying to scare the lizard to freedom, the mild-mannered suburban mom decided she'd finally had enough.
"I'm tired of this motherfucking lizard in this motherfucking office!" she yelled. And with the authority of a drill sargent, she barked, "Get me that broom!"
This was no time for disobedience. I ran to the break room, grabbed the broom, then hurried back and deposited it in the Proud Mom's hands. She then proceeded to beat the floor with the broom while screaming at the lizard, "Go, lizard! Leave! Get out of here!" The startled lizard ran out of his protective hole. And with each swat of the broom against the floor, he inched his way back to freedom.
Her work being done, the Proud Mom took her photo and went home. In wonder and amazement, I watched from the doorway, broom in hand, as she drove her minivan into the sunset.
Friday, September 01, 2006
What?!? And I thought I answered the questions so well!
| You Are A Bad Date! |
 Sometimes it just seems like your heart isn't in it At least, not unless the guy is a dead ringer for Brad Pitt (with more money) You just don't spend enough time wondering if he's having fun... And newsflash - he probably isn't! |
I'm supposed to get paid for this?
| You Are A Professional Girlfriend! |
 You are the perfect girlfriend - big surprise! Heaven knows you've had enough practice. That's why you're a total pro. If there was an Emily Post of girlfriends, it would be you. You know how to act in every situation ... to make both you and your guy happy. |
I don't understand how I can be a bad date and a "professional" girlfriend?
What Kind of Girlfriend Are You?
I'm amazed at how accurate this is
| Your Five Factor Personality Profile |
 Extroversion: You have low extroversion. You are quiet and reserved in most social situations. A low key, laid back lifestyle is important to you. You tend to bond slowly, over time, with one or two people. Conscientiousness: You have medium conscientiousness. You're generally good at balancing work and play. When you need to buckle down, you can usually get tasks done. But you've been known to goof off when you know you can get away with it. (As evidenced by the fact that I am posting this from work while my boss is out of town!) Agreeableness: You have high agreeableness. You are easy to get along with, and you value harmony highly. Helpful and generous, you are willing to compromise with almost anyone. You give people the benefit of the doubt and don't mind giving someone a second chance. Neuroticism: You have low neuroticism. You are very emotionally stable and mentally together. Only the greatest setbacks upset you, and you bounce back quickly. Overall, you are typically calm and relaxed - making others feel secure. Openness to experience: Your openness to new experiences is medium. You are generally broad minded when it come to new things. But if something crosses a moral line, there's no way you'll approve of it. You are suspicious of anything too wacky, though you do still consider creativity a virtue. |
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