That may or may not be a good thing. I'll let you decide.
I am feeling much better these days. Thanks for asking. I went to my gynecologist a couple weeks ago and complained that I thought the new birth control pills she has me on were keeping me awake at night. Of course, like all doctors do when I come in with my own diagnoses, she poo-pooed me, but not before suggesting that I start taking the pills in the morning instead of at night. I don't know if it's because I switched my pill-taking time or if it's because I started working out or both, but I have been sleeping better as of late. Let's hope it continues.
I haven't been blogging much because I've been struggling to find balance in my life. Since multiple jobs take up the majority of my time, I often ignore certain areas of my life, like cooking healthy meals, working out, doing laundry and other household chores. I have been trying to find ways to fit all those things into my daily routine, but it hasn't been easy. And I'm afraid blogging has become an unexpected victim of sorts. I plan to go back to the drawing board and try to come up with a schedule that includes blogging and other writing activities. Of course, that means something else will take a hit, but it's all about balance, right?
Yesterday, I was trying to exercise my new-found balance by cooking myself a healthy meal of baked chicken breast, potatoes, and broccoli. I wanted to make sure that I didn't dry out the chicken breast in the oven so I pulled out my handy-dandy probe thermometer that let's me know when meat has reached a certain temperature. I inserted the probe into the chicken breast, connected the probe to the display and tried to set the temperature at which the device would alarm. Regardless of how many times I pressed the button, the display remained blank. I assumed the battery was dead and went searching frantically to find some other device from which to steal triple-A batteries. Remotes, cameras, alarm clocks. I have a gazillion electronic devices in my house and ALL of them take AA batteries. I was beginning to think I was shit out of luck until I eyed my vibrator laying on the floor. I picked up my little pleasure machine, twisted off the top and prayed (although I don't know what god would have honored such a request) that it used triple-A batteries. I pumped my fists with glee when I discovered two AAA batteries lodged in the shaft. I took one out, ran to the kitchen, and placed it in my thermometer. When I reinserted the probe into the display device, it lit up like a Christmas tree. I breathed a sigh of relief. Dinner was saved.
Don't laugh! Desperate times call for desperate measures. But I must remember though, the next time I run errands, to stock up on AAA batteries. For multiple reasons.
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11 comments:
Funny, well-written post. I hope you get some R&R soon!
I dang near fell out of my chair. You actually took the batteries out of THAT? Honey, that is a 'sacred' machine you got there, and one should never take the batteries out. What if you needed it, and couldn't move?
You really need to invest in the Model SD5500 series. It comes with 21 attachments and has settings from just a slow little pulse to YOU GO GIRL. The best part....it has its own generator. Never know when the power will go out....I just know that you will always have a smile upon your face.
Well, I guess your little pleasure maker came in handy in a couple different ways! Glad to read that you're feeling better.
First of all, you don't have to take the birth control pill internally. Just remember, before you leave for a date place a little pill between your knees and leave it there the rest of the night. Works everytime.
Secondly, what did you chicken taste like with the fish smell to it (from where your battery came from - get it?) Damn, I'm funny!
Settings;
Slow little pulse to YOU GO GIRL!!
*dies laughing*
This was hilarious. Although you did scare me when you got to the vibrator part. I thought you were about to say you took the chicken and shoved...nevermind.
A very funny post. It's good to see you back. Take good care of yourself.
I am kind of taking a break from blogging too as I began to feel guilty for not visiting all the bloggers I had come to know and that's just impossible. So I'm doing a hit and miss whenever I feel like it and trying to get the balance you speak of.
Good luck to you in this also!
On the floor?!
RE: On the floor?!...I didn't think of that when I read it. I assume you keep your juicemaker clean and pristine and your floor isn't dirty. Then again, it's your yoni, and you can do what you want with it.
lol! probes, shafts, chicken, oh my. i hope that chicken came out well! hilarious.
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