My friend and I were discussing Eva Longoria's declaration in a women's magazine that she gives out vibrators to her girlfriends as gifts. My friend mentioned that she thought Longoria was trashy. What do we really know about the Desperate Housewifes star that would make someone come to that conclusion? We know that she sometimes dresses provocatively (doesn't everyone in Hollywood?) and she uses a vibrator and is not afraid to talk about it. And for that she should be considered trashy?
To me, a trashy woman is one who will sleep with anyone, anywhere, anytime. Eva Longoria has done nothing to indicate that she is that type of woman. The only other proof one could use against her is the use of a vibrator. Is that enough evidence to suggest someone is sleazy? Is that any evidence, for that matter?
A magazine article I read recently states that 44 percent of women between the ages of 18 and 60 have used a vibrator. Forty-four percent! That is more than the percentage of women who have tried yoga (10 percent.) Are we to question the sexual honor of almost half the adult women in this country?
I am among the 56 percent of women who have not tried a vibrator but I have tried yoga for relaxation. I have the sneaking suspicion that I could get the same effect from a vibrator and have a hell of a lot more fun in the process. Does that admission make me seem tawdry? Some people may think so. But I have learned to not confuse openness about one's sexuality and the willingness to try new things with whoredom. It's just not fair.
6 comments:
I guess this is where you and I agree to disagree. I don't view Eva's comments as trashy. To me she was just being open. Admittedly, more open than you or I would be, but open just the same.
i use and have a vibrator, and i dont think im trashy.
I think we're in a period of opening the closet and examining all this basic human need stuff that we crammed in there for centuries. It was unhealthy to villanize sex and keep it secreted away. Now the pendulum swings back and the doors swing open, and all the dusty ghoulies come flying out to haunt those of us who never snooped around in there when we were kids.
No, it's not wrong. It's just distasteful for those of us with propriety issues, or feelings of shame. I do get uneasy with people who need to smear their sexuality all over the place, like it's their one source of identity. I think they have major issues they are working through. But thank God they are working through them.
Let's also just point out that women in the 20th C were so repressed that many of us felt we weren't entitled to orgasms, if we had them at all. I consider this a point of liberation, and reclaiming our right to have basic needs satisfied without shame.
Personally, I threw my vibrator away after a scary electrical incident three years ago. I never had one until a boyfriend gave it to me in '97 - frankly, I never needed it. I have to say, not only do I much prefer organic orgasms, I encourage all you ladies who have difficulty getting there without power tools to relearn and retrain your bodies - the sex you have with your partner(s) will be much better.
And if you want to talk about it, even in a magazine, do it. It's as natural as breathing. And let's stop calling our sisters names that make them ashamed.
Grizzbabe - thanks for your comment. I'm not sure I'll ever be confident in that particular situation, but it behooves me to try and conquer my fears.
As a man, I'm just glad that Eva didn't lead from talking about vibrators into a long-winded slam about how men can't get her off, so she has to do it herself. I think I've heard enough on that topic for one lifetime, especially since I am a very giving lover. I'm on the fence overall here. I think Eva's comments are on the trashy side, which is why she made them , because she's looking for attention. No one says those things in an interview unless they're looking for attention. But on the other hand, I don't have a problem with women doing anything they want with their bodies and not being ashamed of it. The more honesty, the better for everyone, I say. Just not in a magazine article.
You pose some interesting questions that, really, probably don't have an answer. Should we question the sexual honor of 44% of women? Are you suggesting that a high percentage makes things acceptable? Are we to judge? What was the percentage of people who voted for Bush? And for Gore? I think both were higher than 44%, but if one follow's an ideaology then one would say that many of them were wrong. Is it wrong to use a vibrator? Is it wrong to not be a virgin? Is Eva trashier than Paris Hilton? Is it wrong to be a Republican or Democrat? Is it wrong to go to Starbucks because I'm headed that way.
Come on, this is the 21st century. Why would there be any stigma at all for using a vibrator?
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