Parenthood

After working part-time for two decades as a babysitter, you would think that I would be able to see myself as a good parent. Or at least learned a few things on how to parent. But it's because I have been exposed to other people's rugrats that I am now certain that I would be a less than perfect parent. Way less than perfect.

For the past 5 years, I have been the frequent caretaker of 2 young boys, who, at their core, are good kids. We have known each other long enough that I am sure they sense that I genuinly care for them and desire to look out for their best interests. But sometimes, when I have been pushed to the edge, I just want to tell them to "shut up and sit your whiny asses down!"

I cannot and do not give in to those urges. Mainly because these are not my kids and who wants to hire a babysitter that verbally abuses their kids? I fear, however, that if they were my kids, I would not show as much restraint. Which is why society should be thankful that I am 39 years old and have a biological clock that is destined to quit ticking before I ever have an opportunity to give birth.

A co-worker recently told the story of a confrontation she had with her 6'5", 17 year old step-son. They were arguing and he physically threatened her. She and her husband handled the situation calmly. They punished him, took away some privileges and in general failed to overreact. I, on the other hand, would have been a bitch on wheels. I would have made him pack his bags, hand over the car keys, called him a cab, given him one nights' hotel rent - subsequent nights would be up to him - and told him that if he wants to act grown when he's not then he can do so somewhere else.

That approach might actually be beneficial to extremely rebellious teenagers but for most kids, it's a little harsh. The scary thing is, I don't think my reaction would have been all that different had he been younger. Can you imagine sending a 6 year old packing because he dared to challenge my authority? Exactly. It's a horrible thing to do. Which is why I think I will choose to remain childless. Really, I think it's better this way.