We were trying to decide on a sexy bet for our annual March Madness challenge when the conversation transitioned into our sexual likes and dislikes. The Fiance revealed that he likes a confident woman in the bedroom, someone who knows what she wants sexually and is not afraid to go after it, someone who is self-assured enough to take the initiative.
Honey, you're a lot of things," he added, "but I don't think anyone can say that you're confident in the bedroom."
Though it stung to hear him say it, I silently agreed with The Fiance. As I've documented on my blog,I've always battled with feeling good about myself so it would stand to reason that those confidence struggles would find their way into my sex life as well. So though I wanted to take issue with The Fiance's conclusion, I didn't put up much of a fight. Deep down, that part of me that relentlessly says that I'm not good enough, caused me to grudgingly agree with The Fiance's assessment.
Until, that is, I remembered that the last 3 times The Fiance and I have been intimate it was because I took the initiative.
The oldest incident was in December. I don't remember the exact details of how we ended up getting busy but I distinctly remember saying to myself "Okay, now it's his turn to initiate," only he didn't and I left Chicago with us both not feeling as satisfied as we could have been.
The middle incident happened at my place and was a surprise for both of us. As I've mentioned before, I no longer live alone, which makes it virtually impossible to get freaky without either the roommate or the cats knowing what's going on, so while The Fiance was in the shower, I made the decision to pounce on him as soon as he stepped out. I figured a few doors between us and the rest of the household would afford us a little more privacy.
The most recent incident was on the last morning of the same visit by The Fiance. My alarm had just gone off and we were laying in bed waiting for the grogginess to lift. In another surprise move, I reached for the "Emotion Lotion" on my nightstand and gave The Fiance an "old fashioned" for the road.
I think the evidence shows that I am clearly a woman who is not afraid to take the initiative. I may not be the most confident woman on the planet but I am not so racked with insecurity that I don't know how to go after what I want in the bedroom.
I think the problem between The Fiance and I may be an issue of style, culture or both.
When my beloved thinks of confidence in the bedroom, I think he thinks of someone like Samantha from Sex and the City. In reality, I'm more of a student of the Southern Belle School of Initiative where we're taught to be forward but to do it in a way that makes the other person think it was their idea. Both approaches, in my opinion, come from a place of confidence.
So, in conclusion – I am woman; hear me roar, dammit. Just because I'm more inclined to gently lead a man into the bedroom than to throw him on the ground and rip his clothes off doesn't necessarily make me less self-assured. It just makes me different.
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6 comments:
Confidence in the bedroom is good, if it’s there. If it isn’t, that’s okay, too. Just lay there, I’ll be through in a couple of minutes.
I think there are no magic bullets to stuff like this. What works between two people works. Enjoy your journey!
Wow, and roar you are doing! Sounds like The Fiance doesn't know how good he's got it.
i think confidence is needed from both sides.
period.
I think Christian women expect the men they see to display some confidence in the bedroom.
While they themselves may be "innocent," and not given themselves to a man (yet), or only slept with a man a couple of times, they usually prefer the men they date to possess knowledge and know their way around the bed and how to please their good-girl pussies, which sooo want them inside them.
If their men don't wanna don condoms, they will even go along with that, and have unprotected sex with them, to get the pleasure they so desire, to where there's nothing to protect their Jesus Girl pussies from their men's potent nonchristian sperms. They want a stud, and know this godless nonbeliever will be able to satisfy them in ways the Christian men they see can't.
If their men refuse to put on condoms, many Christian women will request they pull-out "just in time" before they cum, so their sperm-laden cum won't fill their sweet Christian pussies, and prevent conception, which a couple of months later would blow their testimony, their "Christian witness," that they're good and "chaste" Christian women who don't sleep with the guys they see.
Some will honor their Christian girlfriends' wishes and pull-out and explode their sperms onto their tummies (I use to do that with the Christian women I saw). Some of their sperms land on their bushy cunts and can make it into their Christian girlfriends' pussies.
Even if the guy doesn't think he cummed, many times, a guy can't feel it. So, some of his "precum" could've oozed out into his Christian girlfriend's pussy, and conceived a child in her. It's a perilous situation for a woman. Many "good Christian girls" have been shocked by "surprise" pregnancies this way.
Every night, back at their boyfriends' places after their dates, Christian women give the nonchristian men they see their virginities, their Christian innocences.
When a Christian women goes back to her date's bedroom or bed, holding his hand as he leads her to the bed where they will have passionate sex, she knows what will be expected of her. It's a fact of life, something that happens to Christian and nonchristian women.
The feelings their nonchristian boyfriends give them when they kiss and caress them can become overwhelming.
While they don't wanna "disappoint god" by having sex with their boyfriends and cross the imaginary lines, they still wanna (sexually) please their boyfriends. And they wanna see what sex is like.
So they give into their boyfriends' (and their own) passions and love all the new feelings and sensations their men give them that they've long denied themselves. Their boyfriends know they're Christian girls who follow God, but also know they have needs and crave their cocks deep inside them.
As they weren't "planning" to have sex with them that night, they aren't on birth control pills, and they're often so lost in the great feelings, physically and emotionally, that they don't seem to immediately care there's nothing to protect them from their boyfriends' potent sperms.
Many naive Christian women are shocked to discover surprise pregnancies this way, finding they conceived after feeling their boyfriends spurt their godless nonchristian sperms deep inside them
They pray they didn't conceive. And many don't get pregnant, but go on to enjoy fulfilling sexual relationships with the men they see
I wonder if it was like that for Gizzababe
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