Gifted and Talented

So I like my new therapist so far. She's sensitive, caring and insightful.

And if our first couple of sessions are any indication, our counseling relationship will be just as beneficial to me as my last one was.

In a possible nod to her insightfulness, my therapist managed to take me aback during our last meeting.

I was answering her questions regarding my upbringing (she had asked in an attempt to make sense of my underlying feelings of inadequacy) when she interrupted me with a question about my grades.

"I was in an advanced academics program in high school," I said, "but I wasn't as studious as I should have been."

"Did you get any scholarships?" she asked.

"No," I said, almost laughing, "I wasn't THAT smart!"

"You just didn't have anyone advocating for you," she responded in a serious tone.

She then went on to explain that I exhibit all the characteristics of someone who is considered "gifted and talented" and that might explain why I never felt like I fit in.*

And I thought it was just because I was the fat kid.

I must admit. The idea of being "gifted and talented" propped up my self-image for a moment, much in the same way the ace of spades props up the jack of diamonds in a house of cards. But as much as the term made me want to puff up my chest, it seemed ill-fitting. Still does.

So in an effort to disprove her hypothesis (or bolster it; I'm not sure which) I told her about being rejected for membership into the honor society (twice) despite having the qualifying grades. When I asked for an explanation, one teacher simply said, "We don't think you're honor society material."

I also told her about the time I was kicked out of C.L.U.E. ( according to my school system's website, C.L.U.E. is a program for "academically talented and gifted students") because I failed to learn how to play chess, a requirement at the time.

Of course, that was years ago and now, my therapist told me, the law requires schools to find some sort of program in which my particular gifts would have been nurtured.

I dunno. This whole "gifted and talented" thing seems odd and I have no idea what the implications could be for me and my developing self-image. To be honest, I'm not really sure I buy into it all. I've always considered myself to be reasonably intelligent, but I would never have described myself as "gifted and talented". In fact, I fully expect that after my therapist does some testing on me (an idea she seems absolutely giddy about) that I'll be exposed for the "gifted and talented" fraud that I am. Then we'll have to look to some other explanation for my weirdness.





* (In addition to counseling people with eating disorders, my therapist also specializes in treating kids who are considered gifted and talented)