Almost.
The only thing that stopped me was a case of the sleepys that was descending upon me rather rapidly. I was too tired to binge eat.
The trigger was loneliness. I had just gotten off the phone with The Boyfriend and I was missing him terribly. Soon after, I got this sudden urge to have food in my mouth (Well it wasn’t so sudden. I always have the urge to eat though sometimes the urge is stronger than at other times) so I reached for a handful of almonds and 3 miniature Snicker bars and consumed them in record time. Not as disastrous as past binge sessions to be sure but still not the direction I wanted to go in.
As I was stuffing my face, I realized that as long as the food was in my mouth, I felt good. Once the food was gone, I was immediately looking for something to replace it. I had gone through the only unhealthy food items in my pantry (the Snickers bars) and was now looking to consume an entire box of gingersnaps. Only I didn’t have any gingersnaps.
If I wanted to inhale 18 servings of cookies in one sitting in the name of happiness, I would have to go to the store to get them. I went to bed instead.
Crisis averted.
Today, I am in a better frame of mind. I started off the day with a healthy breakfast, I’ve packed a healthy lunch and I plan to continue the healthy activities that I’ve engaged in for the past 6 weeks – walking a mile and a half on my lunch break and then doing aerobics in the evening.
But I know that won’t be the last urge to binge I’ll experience. There will be more. And I’ll have to figure out ways to deal with them because I can’t depend on sleepiness to rescue me every time.
Maybe there’ll be a new drug invented that knocks me into a coma every time I get the urge to consume my weight in Suzy Qs.
One can dream.
5 comments:
I have only been addicted to two things in my life (okay three if you count women as an addiction), blogging and smoking. I refuse to even consider giving up blogging, but I give up cigarettes 20 years ago. I quit cold turkey in an environment full of smokers. But, first of all, I didn’t like the idea of something have a control over me, and I knew it wasn’t good for me. So I quit. It was the hardest thing I have ever done. I almost started back several times, but I would look at that cigarette in my hand and thing, “If I light this up, ALL that I have gone though will have been for nothing and I will have to admit I am weak.” Eventually the craving went away and I FUNKING WON!
The easiest and hardest thing you can do to control your eating is to just say “NO”. I will pray for strength for you .
Thanks, Coffeypot. I need all the help I can get.
I'm sure all of us loyal readers are very proud of you for your show of willpower. I personally can only hope to have that type of strength someday as I battle weight problems myself. Good luck and stay strong.
I think that monster got frustrated with me and looked up my Blogroll to go pick on somebody else. I'm glad you kicked it to the curb too, but it HAS been back at my door a few times in the form of Whoppers Malted Milk Balls. And there HAVE been times I let that ol' snake it for a spell...
As yes - I do believe we have some things in common :-)
Missy Mallon
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