I had my annual breast smushing yesterday and the girls are still a bit tender.
I say I do this annually but, in all honesty, I am 40 years old and this was only my second time to be held prisoner by a boobie torture device. I consider myself lucky.
Maybe it wouldn't have been so bad if the machine didn't seem to malfunction at the very thought of x-raying my enormous mammaries. Every time the technician clamped her evil toy around my breast and then pushed the button to start the imaging process, the machine would immediately release me, as if to say, Oh, hell no! This procedure was repeated again and again until, finally, the disobedient hunk of metal was beaten into submission and told to operate properly or else. By this time, the girls were dying for relief. Normally, they like to be manhandled, but even these rough-and-tumble broads have their limit.
After the torture session was over, the technician checked the x-rays to make sure my breasts were visible in each one. Now, I am not a medical professional, but all of the pictures looked clear to me except for one (or maybe two, I'm not sure.) There seemed to be a white splotch on one picture. But when she put the images of my other breast on the x-ray film viewer, I thought I saw a white splotch on that one too. Or maybe that was the same picture from earlier. I don't know. I guess I'll find out in 2-3 weeks how many more months I have to live.
In the meantime, I'll be wrapping my breasts in cotton.
11 comments:
If they are that soar, I will be glad to rub them down with oil for you. I'll keep my eyes closed, I promise. Trust me!
swaddle them!
Well those machines have been known to steal a woman's dignity--but never her sense of humor! :)
The girls!! LOL!!
One of the reasons I'm thankful for being male is that they don't smash our naughty bits between cold plates of metal. I'm not sure anyone would live to tell about it if they did, but still.
Wishing the best for you in the New Year!
CP
I hear ya! I used to have to cancel if it was PMS because they'd be too sore. As it is, I take tylenol before I go. I am so small they have to pull everything from my armpit to even make a bob to go on the squeeze-plate!
I've had a benign cyst removed (when I was 32) and have had a mmamogram yearly ever since...hmmm..I'm 54 so... that's ...a lot! My sisters have both had breast cancer and had surgery plus radiation and are doing well.
Hope yours turns out fine.
I mean ... I wish the best for you! But you know it was funny to hear you call them "the girls"! You know it was!
I had never heard anyone call them "the girls" until I dated someone from southern Illinois. I had no idea what she was talking about the first 8 times she said it.
Good luck with everything Grizzbabe!
Did the tech furrow his brow over the white splotch, then hurriedly tell you "Okay, follow up with your doctor" in a fake cheery voice?
If not, the white splotch was probably nothing. Maybe. Uh, follow up with your doctor?
I have to say, that doesn't sound like a very fun experience. I'm glad you made it through okay, though! :)
'The fabric of our lives"
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