On dryers and making apologies

I have been fortunate enough that most of the apartments I've lived in during my lifetime have always had a washer and dryer located inside my living quarters. Only in college was I ever subjected to the indignities of communal washing. And that was so long ago that I barely even remember the embarrassment I experienced while watching my unmentionables tumble in the large, industrial dryers. For the last 16 years, my unmentionables have tumbled in the privacy of my own home.

As with all conveniences, they can easily be taken for granted, causing you to not fully realize how good you have it until you come across someone who is not as blessed as you are. In my mind, not having your own washer and dryer is almost akin to living in a third world country. I want to adopt that "underprivileged" person who is forced to wash and dry their clothes in public and send them .25 cents a day so that one day they too can experience the joys of laundering in their own home.

The Boyfriend is one of those poor souls who is unable to wash his clothes in his own apartment. Once a week or so, he packs up his dirty clothes and does his laundry at his aunt's house a few blocks away.

Ordinarily the opportunity to do laundry for free in a semi-private environment would seem like a pretty good deal. Unfortunately for The Boyfriend, his aunt's dryer has not worked properly for some time making an already long process even longer and effectively negating a portion of the benefits he receives.

The Boyfriend and I were joking one night about how long it takes him to do laundry when I remarked, "Why didn't your aunt get the dryer fixed instead of buying a big-screen television?"

Sure, it was a tacky thing to say but I was joking. It's not like I actually expected her to forgo the purchase of a big-screen television in favor of repairing the dryer. I was simply trying to be funny by making a offhanded comment. Besides, I felt pretty confident that my joke would never make it past the two of us.

I was wrong. Oh, so very wrong.

A few weeks later The Boyfriend revealed that his aunt doesn't have a very high opinion of me. When pressed further for an explanation he added, "Well, I told her what you said about..."

"Oh, God," I groaned as my head fell into my hands. He didn't finish his sentence. There was no need because I knew exactly what he had told her.

The Boyfriend tried to reassure his aunt that I was just joking and meant no harm but she wasn't hearing it. She was offended. And, to be honest, she had every right to be. Joking or not, it was a horrible thing to say.

My first inclination was to call and apologize but I don't know The Boyfriend's aunt that well and wondered if I would be making too big a deal of it all. I decided to let it slide. When The Boyfriend mentioned a few weeks later that his aunt had fixed the dryer but was still mad and asked for my phone number to, presumably, give me a piece of her mind, I knew it was time for me to act.

I called The Boyfriend's aunt and offered a sincere, heartfelt apology. I added that even though my comment to her nephew had been in jest and was without malice, it was still tacky and uncalled for.

During our phone conversation, The Boyfriend's aunt tried to downplay her offense, making it seem as if she hadn't given my comments a second thought. I knew better. I knew that she was mad as hell. But she was very gracious. She accepted my apology and assured me that "all is well" between us.

I don't know for sure if all is well or not. Some people can hold grudges for a long time and I don't know The Boyfriend's aunt well enough to decipher if she is one of those people. Sometimes though, a simple apology can go a long way toward smoothing the most ruffled of feathers.

I hope I did just that.