Six weird things

Props to Steve for tagging me to reveal 6 weird things about myself. As I am often hailed for being the embodiment of all that is considered normal and healthy (not), this proved to be a difficult task but I gave it the old college try. Here goes.

• I have a fear of amusement rides. I'’m fine as long as the ride is spinning furiously while still on the ground but once that thing becomes airborne, I start behaving like I need to be contained by a straight jacket. That'’s normal, right?
• I put my name on my office supplies, making it easier to determine where my wrath should be directed if they come up missing. I don'’t label everything, just the things that send me into a tizzy if I reach for them and they are not there, like my pens and my post it notes. Nine out of ten psychologists agree that turning into a fire-breathing dragon is a totally appropriate reaction to finding out that one of my co-workers has rummaged through my desk and taken my stuff as if my workspace were the office supply closet. GET YOUR OWN DAMN PEN!
• I can'’t watch those real life crime shows. After watching an episode of Forensic Files, I spend weeks contemplating how long it would take the cops to find the serial killer that chopped my body up into Ziploc baggie size pieces and stored it in the freezer.
• I prefer to NOT have the toilet paper hanging from the toilet paper dispenser. To me, it'’s more practical and convenient to leave it on the bathroom counter. When I'’m sitting on the toilet in a dark bathroom at 3 o'’clock in the morning, the last thing I want to do is spend a lot of time searching blindly for the start of the toilet paper roll. I'’d rather quickly do my business so that I can get back to the dream involving me and a Jacuzzi full of Chippendale'’s dancers.
• After observing the hygiene habits of my fellow office dwellers (men and women alike), I'’ve come to the realization that the urge to wash my hands after every bathroom visit makes me unusual, a freak of nature that should be displayed at carnivals.
• I rarely watch TV shows that have actors and a plot. For some reason, I don'’t have the patience for those types of shows anymore. If the people on TV aren'’t dribbling a basketball, making a souffle or redecorating a room, I'’m not watching it.